So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
