i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
