I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
