how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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