So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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