office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
