fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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