I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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