i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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