She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
