I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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