Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
