Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize