Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
