Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
