dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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