that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
