The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I love having hate sex.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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