If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
