apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i out mim tonsoeep
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