Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
