I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
