Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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