but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I wish I only lived at night.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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