You know, be my cock's hype man.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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