bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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