i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
