i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
