I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
