I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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