They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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