Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
