5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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