just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
