high people should be assigned attendants
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
