Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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