this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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