Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
