I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just invented taco cereal.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
