Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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