Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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