There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
