You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
