i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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