OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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