you turned your livingroom into a bong?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
