dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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