we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
