im about as happy as oj after his trial
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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