I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
